It is done!

As of last Wednesday, I am no longer an intern, and it is wonderful. I feel so liberated and elevated about this gift of time that I received. To be fair, I haven't done much yet with this time, not many productive or recreational things at least, as I have been relaxing the hell out of myself. Much needed relaxation! Working two jobs for six months can be very draining, which became increasingly noticeable in the last couple of weeks. The pub became busier due to the whole Christmas situation and work at the internship became more boring and unfulfilling. It sounds like a third-world problem to compalain about having nothing to do at work, but believe me, it can get to you, especially if you're the type of person who likes to be buzzing at work once in a while. And then of course sometimes stuff like this happens:

Days like these don't exactly help in making you feel better about your work situation (and yes, I admit, I was being particulary lazy with my lunch that day, what with all the Campell's going on).

Anyhow, I am finished and in hindsight I am glad that I went through with it instead of quitting early. I am not a believer in doing things you don't enjoy just because "you have to" for professional reasons. I always think it's a waste of time and energy to do stuff just because for some reason you feel obliged to do so,or feel like you can't change your situation. Because then you end up a bitter, complaining person and that is not very nice for yourself and others. I went through with it because it was only a 6 month deal, if it had been longer than that, I would have quit to save myself from becoming a nagging and unhappy old hag.

To celebrate, Pete and I went to the Queen Vic Market and had ourselves a nice Sri Lankan Street Food dinner and a yummy Sangria, which tasted more like cold mulled wine. This was very much to my liking since it is Christmas time and I am having a hard time getting into the mood. That way I had my first little Christmas-in-summer sparkle.

Of FOMO and Me-Dates

Since I've had the last two weeks all to myself, I was able to enjoy some well-spent me-time. While it does get lonely sometimes - especially at night - I have to admit that I do look forward to spending time alone every once in a while. It gives me the chance to calibrate my compass again and concentrate on me. I always find it calming to just be by yourself, unplug from everything and connect with the person you are when you're not with your SO. Sort of like being on an extended date with yourself. And that is what I did. I spent time doing things that I love, such as simply walking around Melbourne and enjoying the city's vibe. I took a good book, treated myself to a nutella doughnut from the awesome breadtop bakery and a Boost Ginger Tonic Smoothie (kind of counter-productive, but hey, in the end the healthy smoothie balances out the nutella doughnut right?), and sat down by the river to enjoy my date.

It was amazing and beautiful and exactly what I needed. There was a singer/songwriter performing with his guitar, presenting the perfect mix of songs. My doughnut was super soft and yummy, my smoothie made me believe I was being healthy and my book was good. Recharging the batteries Melbourne-Style! After a short while I got chatted up by a guy, which was nice because it added to my self esteem, but also got me out of my flow and therefore irritated me a bit (due to his very strange approach, which was bombarding me with questions, some of them rather weird). 

Anyhow, I felt revived and good about myself and went to work happy (which didn't stay that way because we got absolutely slayed in the kitchen). I recollected my inner calmness the next day by continuing my Smoothie-Reading date in the Women's Peace Garden around the corner. I enjoyed some good music in the sun with my new headphones and felt very peaceful. 

These are the kind of dates I go on with myself. I don't feel the need to party hard or get drunk. Sometimes people suffer from serious FOMO, which came to mind during one of my long runs (managed a 10.4 k under an hour and was very proud). I concluded for myself that people should just be happy with who they are and accept that they might not be the big party animals. It's okay to just want to enjoy a movie by yourself and relax. You don't have to party and get drunk, because you feel like you'll miss out big time. Even if you're in Melbourne and someone says "You can have a movie night any time, you're only in Melbourne once!". Yeah, but people are different and enjoy doing different things in Melbourne. I decided to just accept that I'm not crazy about drunk nights out anymore and that it's absolutely okay to just hang out at home. Also, maybe I just got old. But generally the rule is: Whatever floats your boat people!

So, don't forget to take yourself out on a little date once in a while. You and your relationship will only benefit from it. It's important to remind yourself that you're an individual now and then, especially when you live with your partner. You forget so easily to invest in some time in yourself, because, of course, you love spending time with your partner. Sometimes it's good for each of you to get out though. Do stuff you like, and in the end you'll have even more to talk about. Simple :)

Travel baby!

What a great time to be working, traveling and discovering all those things that probably change your life forever. I went to London and found my next 2 decades of life.

This is a line in an email that I got today. It stuck with me immediately, because I felt I could relate a great deal. Here is why: When I made the decision to come to Australia, I had just started my Master's degree in Germany. To be fair though, that had just been a desperate move after finishing my bachelor's degree. I was pretty confused and helpless and still did not know what to do with my life. I say desperate because it was not thought through at all, a snap decision, I didn't even enjoy studying that much. I think I knew from the start it was only going to be a temporary solution, since I chose a uni closer to home. One semester in I started applying for internships in London and Australia randomly - again not thought through, just a Hey, if it works it's great, if not, nothing's lost thing. Also, at the time I was in a relationship that didn't make me happy. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner, I guess I was just tired of being alone.  I was not expecting an acceptance for the internship position in Melbourne. When I did get it, I took some time to think about it - I know, take some time to think about going to Melbourne ?! In my defense, it just shows how little I expected it. I knew I needed a change in my life, desperately. It's hard to describe the feeling I had. I constantly felt lost and discontent with my place on earth because I knew it wasn't the right one. Therefore, we all know it,  the only right answer was: Go to the other side of the world. A different place. A new chance to achieve happiness and contentment. A chance to find what you want, what you need. Even though you have not the slightest idea what that is. Working in the most liveable city in the world sounded like a step into the right direction though. In a city like Melbourne, surely life doesn't just SEEM greener on the other side.

My colleague Claudia at The Pinnacle in the Grampians National Park

Turned out I was right. Melbourne is a colorful bubble of art, culture and amazing and inspiring people. The moment I stepped into those late-autumn Melbourne streets I was hooked. I knew I would find what I was looking for. My first day here was like the city wanted to tell me Hey, nice to meet you, I think we're going to get along amazingly.  It was a comforting 17 degrees and I had a Vegemite Cheese Swirl with the most delicious coffee and read my book. Heaven!The whole city is just electrifying, uplifting. I never knew one could go to work with a smile on your face. The thought of being in such a great city alone put a smile on my face.   That, however, wasn't going to be all. What changed my life here drastically and quite immediately was my former flatmate. He was that - just my lovely and polite British flatmate - for about a week, until our heart-warming, aw-inducing little love story took off. I never expected to find love here and I never went with the hope of finding it here. Of course the thought crossed my mind but I was set on making it on my own and going my way. Be single, find a way of life that makes you happy. But the Universe or god or chance, whatever you believe in, obviously wanted to cross my plans.   I was stupidly in love. That big-ass gooey feeling. The real deal. IN LOVE. Like looking at someone's mouth when they're talking and you swear it's the sexiest thing you've ever seen and have to really concentrate on not melting away. My heart was gone. I knew right away that this wasn't going to be one of those flings where feelings just fade after a short while, where you THINK you're in love, but in the end it was all just your deeply embedded desire to be. This was special, it almost seemed like fate, considering that we used to live quite close to each other without knowing it when I was Au-pairing in London. We could have met quite easily back then. This just seemed like the stars were aligning in every possible way to bring us together ( I was the second choice for my internship position among other things). 

Pete and I in the Tasman National Park, 31.10.2015

Anyway, enough with the love-fest. What I realised today is just that that sentence is so right. We live in an amazing age, with (mostly) open borders and are presented with the opportunity to experience so many cultures and countries. We can see new ways of life and  meet new interesting and inspiring people and learn from their views. I am so thankful for this experience and to have taken this little leap.